Recently, Partners With Parents has seen a increase in the demand for private tutoring for use as part of a homeschooling program. In the past, homeschooling has had a reputation as a “solution” for parents who differed religiously or disagreed philosophically with how their kids were being taught in school. Now, particularly in places like New York City, there is a new group of parents who want, need, and are finding the vast benefits of homeschooling programs for kids with learning disabilities.

There is a lot to be said for the advantages of socialization in school and for the theory that having all different kinds of kids and abilities in a classroom is a good thing for all involved. I agree. My point in suggesting a short term homeschooling program is to save kids from acute stress — and that is what many with undiagnosed or newly diagnosed learning disabilities are experiencing.  This is especially true if they are in schools that aren’t appropriate for their needs or if their leaning difficulties are also accompanied by emotional, psychological, or physical issues. The fact is that a stressed child is using all of his or her capabilities to cope, not to learn. Changing the environment and social stresses can make all the difference if it is done well and gracefully.

If you think such a change might be beneficial to your child, consider:

1) Does your child complain about school, fear it, pretend to be ill, or otherwise avoid going to school?

2) Can you clearly see your child likes and wants to learn but is just in the wrong environment?

3) Can your child’s school make the accommodations necessary to help your child learn and function socially, in the near term?  Do they have the capacity to include you in a plan to implement changes for your child based on his/her emerging needs?

4) Do you question whether the school you chose was the right one for your current situation?  Is it too late to put your child somewhere else this year or do you worry that he/she can’t get into the school that is a better fit?

5) Can you envision your child connecting with one or two teachers/tutors in your home and getting to study more of what he/she likes and in ways that fit his/her learning needs? Would that be a good thing at this stage?

Depending on your answers to these questions, it might be time to consider a short stint of homeschooling, giving everyone a breather. Kids may need that emotional break, a respite from feeling like they are failing (often socially as well as academically). They need to find their natural love of learning, and discover the strategies that work for them.  Parents and guardians need a moment to get their bearings and figure out what is best for the whole family.  Logistically, it takes time to find and apply to the right schools even if you know that school is the place you ultimately want your child.  While, short term homeschooling may not be the solution, it may just be the right fit at the right time.

My first response was to think that we need to reduce kids’ seemingly incessant “screen time,” as opposed to their “book time,” which my colleagues explored in last week’s post, Nearsightedness and Competitive NYC Schools.  Over the last week, however, I’ve been stuck on this popular notion that we are overloading our kids with homework.  In this idea, we are dangerously close to coming out against a certain developmental rigor that is crucial for our children’s development.  We have all become familiar with the refrain that we should “let them have their childhood,” but if we’re talking about replacing books and academic challenges with a bag of chips and a 50” screen, I’m declining.

As adults with a certain amount of life experience, we know that few things come easily.  We know one has to work hard for the things worth having, and in the process one builds the skills and wisdom to manage the fruits of those efforts.  The classic example of this principle is the penniless lottery winner who, without the financial acumen to manage his new wealth, quickly burns through his winnings and finds himself stunningly penniless once again.  If he had worked to earn his wealth, he would have developed the skills to manage it and the emotional disposition to maintain it.  As moms, dads, and educators, we don’t want it all to be easy for our kids; we want them to gain strength through overcoming adversity.  To a reasonable extent, we are guided by the value, “That which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”  By working hard to meet a goal, or to pursue an interest in spite of distractions and hurdles, our kids “learn how to learn” and become effective, values-driven problem solvers.

At the same time, we also know that a person must be able to succeed at a challenge in order for it to be useful.  A task that’s beyond a person’s capacity to execute is an exercise in futility, and often results in misery (if not symptoms of illness or subtle acts of defiance).  If our kids are genuinely suffering with their homework, as opposed to battling through their own procrastination and getting the job done, then it needs to be addressed.  Adult and child learners alike must have the tools available to them so that they can succeed.  So our ophthalmologist seems to have the right intuition about children whose well-being is compromised by hours and hours of homework, but above his concern for their vision there must be concern for their holistic health and sense of success.  Beyond monitoring the impact of rigorous academic life on children’s eyesight, we need to “keep an eye” on how it is affecting every aspect of their lives so that, as they are challenged to stretch and grow, no part of them is feeling an unbearable strain.

Read the original article: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/eye_doc_shocking_charge_nearsighted_UP00JQisaUlsuMg78aGJZN

Will Craig, Educational Director at Partners With Parents, can be reached at will@partnerswithparents.com.

Partners With Parents Tutoring Service was contacted by the journalist to offer our expertise about the amount of homework students receive in New York independent and highly-selective public schools.  Essentially, our quote was that over the past decade we have seen a trend towards heavier homework loads.

Reading the article, we had a strong reaction to the idea that books and homework might be implicated as the primary culprit behind myopia.  While there is no doubt that the ophthalmologist has anecdotal experiences pointing to increased myopia in his clientele, we agree with others sited in the article who indicate that more than student workload needs to be taken into account.  From a brief look at the research, we can see that myopia is on the rise in far larger populations than NYC students.  Factors, both genetic and environmental, are being considered.

Our take is this: In the ultra competitive New York private school environment, there are stresses of both the physical and mental variety, one of which is surely ocular strain.  A few years down the road, carpal tunnel may be the next teenage epidemic.  And while this is not the forum to get in the middle of the homework debate, it goes without saying that more homework is not necessarily better – the purpose of homework is to reinforce learning and build academic independence, not keep kids busy late into the night.

Ultimately, our kids are spending too much time in front of technological gadgets that absorb their gazes: computers, TVs, cell phones, video games.  Much of the exposure comes from work related to school but much of it does not.  We, as parents and educators, need to monitor the amount of “screen time” our children are getting and make sure there are substantial breaks from it during each day.  Our kids need more time outside playing and moving their bodies . . . and having a chance to experience their youth.

Read the original article: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/eye_doc_shocking_charge_nearsighted_UP00JQisaUlsuMg78aGJZN

In times of stress, we tend to stay up later to “get things done,” we sleep fitfully when we do get to bed, and then we wake up prematurely with that cool burning sense of worry over getting things handled.  It may feel restful to spend time in the simulated unconsciousness of chatting online or staring at the television until late hours, but maximizing your actual sleep hours is critical.  It seems a small thing, but inadequate sleep only adds to one’s level of anxiety and diminishes performance across the board.  Especially with a book-bag full of new syllabi weighing heavily on their shoulders, students need extra rest to handle the stress and stay well both physically and academically.

So, get to bed!

It is important to realize that test preparation cannot merely begin at the registration deadline, which is usually less than a month prior to the test date.  To ensure a confident, level-headed approach on test day, the material must be examined and taken seriously well in advance.  Standardized tests are not measures of any innate intelligence or ability; in a sense, performance on these exams is just an indicator of how well you perform on these exams. This is why our schools and universities rarely make test scores their first criteria in decision-making.  Meaningful preparation that results in actual mastery of the material usually raises a student’s score substantially.

As you look ahead to your child’s exam schedule in the upcoming year, don’t miss your registration deadlines, but be sure you don’t forget to accommodate the learning process that comes far prior to registration, either.  Make a study plan a year in advance that includes understanding how the test works.  Take a practice test each month in real test conditions to develop ease with test-taking itself.  Break down the test into discrete concepts and commit to learning one each week – triangles this week, probability next.  Learn a new word or two each day.  There are hundreds of resources for each standardized test at your disposal – books, word lists, worksheets, computer programs, etc.  This kind of preparation will leave many students well-prepared for test day.

If you know your child faces a struggle with a standardized test, professional test prep is always an option.  We all know this is a huge industry, with thousands of classes and private tutors in New York City alone.  One piece of advice: Research your options and know how much you are willing to spend in total.  It can get very expensive.  Another piece of advice: If you know you are going to have a few sessions with a tutor, do the majority of them months in advance.  That way, you’ll know where you stand and have the time to address areas of weakness.  Then you can have the last couple of sessions right before the test date for lingering questions and final preparations.  For self-disciplined learners, a good tutor will be able to identify gaps in knowledge and create a plan of action that the student can follow independently.  For those students who need more attention, there are rigorous programs that provide step-by-step instruction over the course of months.

The bottom line: Make a plan!  Get familiar with the test as well as the dates that serve you.  If you don’t feel confident with some of the content, target those areas for extra attention.  Seek outside resources. (You might as well start by checking out free or low-cost options before jumping right in with tutors who charge hundreds of dollars an hour.)  Practice, practice, practice!  Then, the night before the big day, relax a little.  If you’ve done a thorough preparation, the confidence will be there, and the results will come.

“Does my child need help?”  It’s one of the most challenging questions we face in supporting our kids’ development.  We watch rising and falling grades, the roller coaster of emotion, peer relationships, shifting interests and activities, and so on, all in hopes of truly knowing our children and providing them with what they need.  Still, our doubts nag us: Is he really doing okay?  Is she truly happy? If we suspect all is not well, the question becomes: What can I do about it?  It can be difficult to tell if a child needs more help than is being provided.  Rare is the pre-adolescent who says to his dad over the breakfast cereal box “I’d like to retain a learning specialist to guide me through the murky waters of my teenage years.”   This leaves parents to sift through the sometimes subtle, sometimes overt, clues in their children’s behavior.

Stacey Goldberg of Star Educational Consulting points out that “A child’s self-esteem is typically the first to go when a child is struggling in school (and the hardest to regain), so if your child is feeling down on him or herself, or like he or she can’t keep up with peers, it might be time to call a professional.”

Further, neuropsychologist Dr. Barbara Kenner guides us to “think holistically, since a presenting weakness may actually be secondary to an underlying problem . . . A child who is acting out, not doing his or her work, or appears to have low self-esteem may actually be struggling with an underlying learning disability.  An evaluation will help clarify a child’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as provide a guide for treatment possibilities.”

Experts say the best rule of thumb is to keep loving your kid while staying attuned to cues from the educational professionals to whom you have entrusted your child at school.  As Ms. Goldberg points out, “Whereas parents of a pre-school child should be somewhat vigilant about involving professionals when their child is not reaching early milestones, parents of school age children are not necessarily the best assessors of how their child is performing in school.”

Since parents cannot always maintain an impartial viewpoint when it comes to the challenges their children meet in life, relying on the school for additional perspective is an important means of finding some counterbalance.  Theresa Peduto, educational consultant and co-chair of SPINS (Student and Parents Information Network Support) indicates “If parents feel that there are clear gaps in their child’s development, they should speak to the school to gain the school’s insight and seek an evaluation.”

Many a NYC parent has encountered what can feel like a frenetic educational environment.  Many children are receiving test preparation, enrichment tutoring and a plethora of supplemental activities, though designing unwarranted interventions can do more harm than good.  “Children read situations well, and sticking a learning specialist on your child without solicitation can read ‘I don’t think you can handle your work on your own,’” points out Ms. Goldberg.  Over-programming can lead to stress, while putting the right support in place can alleviate stress.  A child that is expressing concern or shows symptoms of declining self-esteem should be monitored and communication with his or her teachers is warranted.

The partnership between parents and schools over the past few years has improved dramatically, with communication beginning to flow both ways.  Ilene Rothschild, Learning Specialist at Horace Mann Upper School, states that “Parents know their kids best,” and that as a parent you add depth to your knowledge when you “watch your child and get feedback from your pediatrician, counselor, teachers, and coaches about your child’s development.”  In the same way, Ms. Rothschild indicates that “Schools more and more are consulting with parents before referring a child for an evaluation.”

If the school and the parent share the view that the child is continuing to show significant signs of frustration, it’s time to form a triangle with a third party support mechanism.  Ms. Rothschild says “Families should meet with schools to determine what steps can happen before an evaluation is recommended and  to learn what resources are available both from the school and community.  Parents should take advantage of these resources and give it a bit of time.”  It’s possible that some simple academic support is all that’s needed.

When preliminary actions still seem to lead to in-depth evaluation, Dr. Kenner’s inductive approach remains crucial to arriving at the source of the problem and accessing the correct help.  “It is important to determine whether this is a primary disorder, or secondary to, for example, a learning disability, speech and language issues, sensory processing weaknesses, or a mood disorder, each of which requires a different set of interventions.”

In sum, if you suspect your child is struggling, speak with the pro’s at his or her school whose job it is to know.  With an effective partnership formed among parents, school, and support professionals, Ms. Peduto reminds us that “the students that have their learning issues clearly identified can address learning in a creative way and this will prevent frustration and allow for academic growth.  These are kids that are often very creative and will succeed in life, but need alternatives to the status quo of learning.”

After putting the right kind of support in place, parents can answer those nagging questions in the affirmative:  Yes, my child is happy.  He’s really doing okay.