Below is a thank you that we wanted to share with you because it encapsulates what we are trying to achieve at Partners With Parents.  It is from a family who used us to plan their son’s Bar Mitzvah ceremony. We take great pride in guiding a family through the details of this meaningful rite of passage, from the preparation of family members, to the “feel” of the service, to the music, readings, speeches, and the siddur.  The results are always magical.

Dear Partners with Parents,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for my son’s Bar Mitzvah. Planning an event like this is mystifying, especially when trying to meet everyone’s needs and address each age group.  I just can’t tell you how amazing your team was. Your coordinator was so lovely.  She and our ceremony leader helped me with every aspect, from start to finish. The cantorial student you provided fit in perfectly as well.  She, too, was warm and totally tuned into our specific needs.  Every generation and people from all backgrounds felt welcome and included and thoroughly enjoyed the occasion.

The speeches were a huge surprise. Normally, I would be concerned about leaving them “to fate” but I totally trusted the team, especially our tutor who led the service.  She came so well prepared and was so professional in her communication with everyone involved.  Her talk during the service was beautiful.  She totally understands my son and values him the way I do.  She’s like part of our family.  My son’s speech was amazing.  It was funny, on point, and in his own voice.  She promised me good grammar, my one requirement, and she came through!  I had no fear about what would happen on the big day because I so trusted her judgment.

Most important, my son loved this experience, and it was meaningful for HIM. He was so happy to work with his tutor that he now wants to continue his Jewish education because he finds it fun and interesting!

I just have to tell you and anyone else who wants to know, it was a fantastic process and a beautiful result. The service was intimate and memorable, everything my family and I wanted.

Thank you so much,

Linda Bicks

I am the mother of a 5 and 7 year old. I am a conscientious parent so I am beginning to think about how to teach my children about “community service.” I want my kids to be justice oriented, aware and appreciative of differences, and immersed in the joy of giving. Being Jewish, I want to teach them the mitzvot and help them become active and generous community members, engaged in “repairing the world.”

I know that parents are the most important teachers, whether we like it or not, so it’s on me to pass these values along. But, I will be honest, I bristle at the notion of making up a community service project and “doing it,” rather than living as someone who serves my community.  What I really want to teach my children  is to become people who see being of service as part of their daily lives.   Recently, a neighbor’s experience crystallized things for me. . . (more…)

One of the real perks to living in NYC is being able to give our children access to so many different people and ideas.  While most of the time these interactions flow smoothly with benefits all around, every once in a while there is friction.  Not necessarily so much friction among the children, but rather among parents and the childrearing ideas that we hold dear to our hearts.   For instance, I have discovered that I am a fairly relaxed parent, who tries not to say “no” just for the sake of saying “no.”  I firmly believe that my child should have the chance to experience life through his own interactions and experiments with the world, not mine.  I am the parent that makes others shudder because I allow my son to lick rocks, put sticks in his mouth (indoors no less), and balance precariously on the furniture. (more…)

First, let’s face the ugly truth – screeching “Mine!” would be a behavioral upgrade for many of our preschoolers.  When we hear a young child patter over to a peer who is happily engaged in play with some fascinating object and NOT grab the goods, something already has been accomplished.  If just a snatch and run occurs, we’re still doing pretty well, since no toddler-on-toddler violence has been perpetrated.  Likewise, if “Mine!” comes in defense of a possession, we can be glad mouths are being used for words, not biting.

Of course, it’s laughable when the robber claims “Mine!” about the goods in question, but it represents a crucial first step toward articulate self-expression and negotiation.  (more…)