One of the real perks to living in NYC is being able to give our children access to so many different people and ideas.  While most of the time these interactions flow smoothly with benefits all around, every once in a while there is friction.  Not necessarily so much friction among the children, but rather among parents and the childrearing ideas that we hold dear to our hearts.   For instance, I have discovered that I am a fairly relaxed parent, who tries not to say “no” just for the sake of saying “no.”  I firmly believe that my child should have the chance to experience life through his own interactions and experiments with the world, not mine.  I am the parent that makes others shudder because I allow my son to lick rocks, put sticks in his mouth (indoors no less), and balance precariously on the furniture. (more…)

First, let’s face the ugly truth – screeching “Mine!” would be a behavioral upgrade for many of our preschoolers.  When we hear a young child patter over to a peer who is happily engaged in play with some fascinating object and NOT grab the goods, something already has been accomplished.  If just a snatch and run occurs, we’re still doing pretty well, since no toddler-on-toddler violence has been perpetrated.  Likewise, if “Mine!” comes in defense of a possession, we can be glad mouths are being used for words, not biting.

Of course, it’s laughable when the robber claims “Mine!” about the goods in question, but it represents a crucial first step toward articulate self-expression and negotiation.  (more…)

Now that the new school year has settled into place, we want to remind your entire family about a crucial component of success.  As your children sort through the details that will support their survival through this year (Where’s my locker, again?  Are white shoes totally out this year?), don’t forget to give time and attention to getting enough sleep.  You’ve got to relax; this early in the school year there are comparatively few responsibilities.

In times of stress, we tend to stay up later to “get things done,” we sleep fitfully when we do get to bed, and then we wake up prematurely with that cool burning sense of worry over getting things handled.  It may feel restful to spend time in the simulated unconsciousness of chatting online or staring at the television until late hours, but maximizing your actual sleep hours is critical.  It seems a small thing, but inadequate sleep only adds to one’s level of anxiety and diminishes performance across the board.  Especially with a book-bag full of new syllabi weighing heavily on their shoulders, students need extra rest to handle the stress and stay well both physically and academically.

So, get to bed!

I had another stare-down with a street-boss.  I was letting my daughters walk on the icy snow piles along the curb as we made our way to the park for sledding, and a friendly, neighborhood Volunteer Parenting Advisor stopped us for a moment.  You know who I mean; one of those generous souls that come up to us on the street and grace us with unsolicited pearls of parenting wisdom.

She approached with the friendly, open body language that says “I want to tell these children how cute they are.”  She said something indecipherable to the girls with a smile on her wrinkled face.  They smiled back with their best “I have no idea what you said, but, yes, we are quite cute – bye now” expressions.  Then she turned her frosty glare on me and I realized she was going to zap me.  She asked me if the sleds I was carrying were for the girls. A deer in headlights, I replied that they were, at which point her evidence collecting phase concluded and I stood guilty, guilty, guilty before the judge.  Those girls should not be walking on the ice; they will slip and fall.  They should not be going sledding; it is too cold out.  Besides, they will fall and get hurt. (more…)