One of the real perks to living in NYC is being able to give our children access to so many different people and ideas.  While most of the time these interactions flow smoothly with benefits all around, every once in a while there is friction.  Not necessarily so much friction among the children, but rather among parents and the childrearing ideas that we hold dear to our hearts.   For instance, I have discovered that I am a fairly relaxed parent, who tries not to say “no” just for the sake of saying “no.”  I firmly believe that my child should have the chance to experience life through his own interactions and experiments with the world, not mine.  I am the parent that makes others shudder because I allow my son to lick rocks, put sticks in his mouth (indoors no less), and balance precariously on the furniture. (more…)

First, let’s face the ugly truth – screeching “Mine!” would be a behavioral upgrade for many of our preschoolers.  When we hear a young child patter over to a peer who is happily engaged in play with some fascinating object and NOT grab the goods, something already has been accomplished.  If just a snatch and run occurs, we’re still doing pretty well, since no toddler-on-toddler violence has been perpetrated.  Likewise, if “Mine!” comes in defense of a possession, we can be glad mouths are being used for words, not biting.

Of course, it’s laughable when the robber claims “Mine!” about the goods in question, but it represents a crucial first step toward articulate self-expression and negotiation.  (more…)